Scots distance themselves to avoid ‘awkward’ mental health conversations

People across Scotland are holding back from social opportunities and distancing themselves from those closest to them to avoid ‘awkward’ conversations about mental health. 

A poll of 1000 Scots conducted by Censuswide for Time to Talk Day found that more than a quarter of people (28 per cent) say that they have pushed friends and family away at times when they haven’t wanted to talk about their mental health, while a similar proportion (27 per cent) say that the desire to avoid a conversation has stopped them from socialising.    

Almost three in 10 (29 per cent) also say that not talking about their mental health is better than having an ‘awkward’ conversation about it – evidence that stigma continues to be a major barrier to many when it comes to speaking about their feelings. 

Taking place today (Thursday 6 February), Time to Talk Day is a national day of conversations about mental health that seeks to tackle the stigma so many people continue to face. It is a day where friends, families, communities, and workplaces come together to talk, listen and change lives, and break down some of the stigma that still exists. 

Overcoming awkwardness

This year’s campaign, which will see events and activities take place across Scotland, is encouraging people to overcome the awkwardness and get comfortable talking about mental health. 

See Me volunteer Lisa Gourley, from Glasgow, says that opening up about her mental health has been a gradual process and that stigma can still be an issue.  

The 31-year-old scientist said she has always experienced difficulties with her mental health.  When she was 11 years old things escalated, and she started self-harming as a way to cope with how she was feeling.  

She added: “It's only been in my late 20s that I started becoming somewhat comfortable.  

“‘Somewhat’ because I'm quite open, but I definitely self-censor a lot. 

“There have been times where I have been open, and people have taken theatrical steps back from me, thinking they're funny, ‘Oh God, stay away from you.’ And these are people, who are friends, people that I love – and they've not meant harm in it, but that's the norm.  

“When I’m trying to be vulnerable, it's not so much about how people see me. It's what people see in their own interpretation of me and then apply that over who I am.  

“And, unfortunately, that’s a little bit of self-stigma but also public stigma.” 

Sources of support

Despite the discomfort which many feel, respondents noted that those closest to them are their biggest source of support when they’re struggling with their mental health. Almost half (46 per cent) say that family make them feel most comfortable talking openly, while 45 per cent say it’s friends. 

Lisa added: “As the listener, we often rush to fill a silence, to reassure, to take a conversation back to a place that we are comfortable and sometime that can be unintentionally harmful. The best thing someone can do is actually listen to what the person’s saying and think about what they’re telling you, and how they’re saying it. What words are they using, the emotion behind it. And listen before you respond.      

“There is so much trust in that conversation, and I think your role is very much first and foremost to listen.” 

Time to Talk Day is run in Scotland by See Me, the national programme to end mental health stigma and discrimination, in partnership with Co-op. It is led by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness in England, Inspire and Change Your Mind in Northern Ireland, and Time to Change Wales.   

Making a difference

Wendy Halliday, See Me director, said: “Stigma is a major barrier for some when it comes to speaking about mental health, and it’s incredibly sad that feelings of awkwardness continue to prevent people from speaking up, reaching out and getting help, sometimes when they need it most. 

“A simple conversation can make a huge difference when someone is struggling with how they are feeling, which is why campaigns like Time to Talk Day are so important. It can act as the catalyst that helps people get support. 

“It is heartening to see that many still feel able to turn to those closest to them for support, highlighting the value of making time and space for those vital conversations about how we feel beyond Time to Talk Day. It's important that all of us make sure we’re taking the time to talk and listen – it really can change lives.” 

Maree Todd, Scotland’s Minister for Social Care, Mental Wellbeing and Sport, said: “Whilst it is positive to know that 75% of people surveyed are comfortable talking about their mental health, the responses show there is still more work to be done. Mental health does not just mean mental illness. It is important that we all work together to reduce mental health stigma across Scotland, maintain good mental wellbeing, and that we recognise there are many underlying social determinants, circumstances and inequalities that can affect people’s mental health. 

“That is why we are committed to a vision for a Scotland free of mental health stigma and inequality – as set out in our Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy. We are pleased to continue working closely with See Me as our key delivery partner to reach this goal. We all have a collective responsibility to have open and supportive conversations about our mental health with those closest to us, within our communities and in our workplaces. This Time to Talk day, I want to encourage everyone to join in the national conversation around mental health and wellbeing.” 

Rebecca Birkbeck, Director of Community and Member Participation, Co-op, said: “Mental wellbeing is central to building stronger, more resilient communities, and our members have told us it’s an issue they care about deeply. The research shows that people across the UK don’t want to have conversations about their mental wellbeing as they worry it would be awkward. By working together, we can normalise talking about mental wellbeing and foster a culture where everyone feels supported and connected.”