When Organisational Values Fail to Appear: A Personal Reflection on Stigma, Silence and Systems

We often see values like dignity, compassion and respect displayed on office walls, corporate websites and annual reports.

These values are designed to shape organisational identity and reassure staff and stakeholders that people matter here. They aim to set the tone for culture, leadership and day-to-day decision-making. But what happens when those same values are nowhere to be found in practice, especially when people are at their most vulnerable? 

This question is not abstract. It is personal. And it is also grounded in research. 

As part of my MSc dissertation, I explored how organisational values influence employee wellbeing, job satisfaction and performance across public and voluntary sector services. Alongside interviews with senior leaders, I included reflections from my own experience. What emerged was a shared sense of frustration. Many participants spoke about values being inconsistently applied or used to mask poor behaviours and reinforce hierarchy. There was a disconnect between what organisations say they believe in and how they actually behave. Notably, many of the most adverse comments came from public sector interviewees, highlighting concerns about tokenistic leadership, lost trust and a culture of silence where staff felt discouraged from speaking up.  

One of the most difficult moments for me came while working in a public sector role, when I requested compassionate leave to support my mother over the festive period. I gave nine weeks' notice and shared a clear mitigation plan. Despite this, the request was denied. I had asked for confidentiality while preparing to speak with my line manager, but that request was dismissed. Senior leaders became involved without my knowledge, and my trust in colleagues was broken. In hindsight, I believe the sharing of that information may not only have been unethical but potentially unlawful, breaching the common law duty of confidence and professional codes of conduct. I was not given the opportunity to explain or respond before decisions were made. I later learned that other staff in the same organisation had been granted extended leave under similar circumstances. I was left wondering why I had been treated so differently. The values of fairness, empathy and dignity simply did not show up. The emotional impact stayed with me for months, and I eventually turned to private counselling to support my wellbeing. 

Shortly after this, I applied for a promoted post within the same public sector organisation. I was informed that I was a preferred candidate and invited to what was described as an informal follow-up discussion. What followed was something quite different. I was told I had been unsuccessful, without a clear explanation, and with a tone that discouraged me from applying again. I left the process feeling misled, humiliated and devalued. Again, the values of honesty, transparency and respect were missing. 

In an attempt to support learning rather than escalate, I approached a senior leader I believed would be open to listening. I shared my experience in good faith. Unfortunately, my reflections were absorbed into a formal grievance process without my consent. This left me feeling even more isolated and silenced, as though my concerns were inconvenient rather than worth hearing. 

After these two experiences, and with my personal values repeatedly compromised, I was left with no choice but to leave the organisation. It was not an easy decision, but it was necessary. Leaving became the first step in a vital resetting process. It allowed me to reclaim my dignity and begin to restore a sense of self that had been eroded over time. 

Remaining in that environment would have meant continuing to internalise the message that I did not belong, that raising concerns made me a problem, and that fairness was negotiable. Through the lens of stigma and discrimination, I came to recognise how damaging this was. These were not just isolated incidents. They reflected structural exclusion that undermines psychological safety and corrodes confidence. Leaving was a way to break that cycle. It was not about giving up, but about choosing to step out of a space that no longer aligned with who I am or what I believe in. 

These moments were not about misunderstandings or poor communication. They were about values that failed to appear when they were needed most. They were about stigma. About not being treated with care. About being dismissed rather than supported. 

Through my research, I heard similar stories from other leaders working in public services. One participant told me, “There is no alignment. My personal values exist separate to the vacuous nonsense of corporate values.” That statement stayed with me. It echoed my own experience. When values are disconnected from real behaviour, they can feel manipulative rather than meaningful. 

But I also know it does not have to be this way. I have seen the difference in the voluntary sector, where I volunteer and serve as a trustee. In these settings, values are not just words. They are reflected in practice. There is honest conversation, genuine care and visible commitment to doing the right thing. It is not perfect, but it is real. 

Importantly, this experience has not broken me. Counselling helped me to process what happened and begin to heal. Journalling gave me a space to reflect and name things I had previously internalised. Completing my MSc with distinction has been a source of huge pride and confidence, reminding me that I have something valuable to offer. I have continued volunteering with organisations tackling stigma and discrimination, which has reaffirmed my belief in the power of values when they are lived authentically. I am also deeply grateful for the love and encouragement of family and friends, whose steady support kept me grounded through the most difficult periods. My outlook is more positive now. I am not the same person I was when I left that organisation, and in many ways, I am stronger for it. 

If we are serious about building compassionate and inclusive workplaces, we must move beyond slogans and surface-level commitments. Values must be integrated into everyday actions, especially when people are vulnerable or facing difficulty. That is the true test of a values-led organisation. Not what it says, but what it does when it matters most. 

Values should not be displayed to impress.

They should be practised to protect. They should live in conversations, decisions and relationships. That is where culture is created and where trust begins.