Nicole's story

It's not always been the case that I've wanted to be here, and I'm glad I stuck through and had hope. I am diagnosed bipolar type one, was diagnosed in 2001 and only three years ago I got a dual diagnosis of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as well, from horrible things that happened in the past, which had, without a doubt, influenced the way I was in times of illness which was usually caused by a trauma of some kind – and then not sleeping afterwards for over a week on at a time.  

I was on a vicious cycle of illness, homelessness, work, paid employment, higher education and illness for many years – and now I'm settled.  

Have been for quite a few years, and life is a lot better.  

And as I said, I'm glad I've stuck around to get this far.  

I volunteer which helps a lot. It keeps me busy and gives me a sense of purpose. Things weren't always easy. 

When I was at home on quite a few occasions when I was younger, the C-PTSD that hadn't been diagnosed at that time, and the way I was treated in hospital really was very difficult, and it made me very angry. 

My family didn't understand why I was behaving the way I was, and it led them to treating me, not exactly ideally.  

So, I would run away from home and end up homeless, and fortunately, eventually, the system did get me back on track with supported accommodation and then temporary housing and then permanent housing with the council. 

I would say, if someone is behaving in a way that seems unacceptable, maybe violence like I had periods of times where I was violent on occasion, regrettably very much - that was a long time ago - but if someone is behaving in a way that seems unusual to them, there are things that can be done to help.  

For me, the biggest breakthrough was my GP during my last period of illness after my partner passed away a few years ago; as I said, there's always a trigger.  

My partner passed away three years ago. I became unwell because I wasn't sleeping. I was still in my meds, and I keep taking the meds. But because of that trauma, I hadn't slept for over a week, and this was a huge breakthrough when my GP prescribed me antihistamines, because they make you drowsy.  

So I was taking an antihistamine with my supper two hours before bed, which got me back on track, and it meant that I didn't have to go back into hospital, which would usually have happened.  

GPs are really clued up now. Psychiatrists, and the mental health services, have really improved over the years, and they just know a lot more because people are talking about it more, they're getting stuff off their chest, which I would highly recommend. 

Talk, talk, talk about it, even the difficult stuff. 

The courses that you can go on that are that are free through the NHS, are lifesaving, that your psychiatrist can prescribe you. 

 So, talk and get everything off your chest. 

Nicole is the author of Nutrition And Fitness Guide For Good Mental Health, available from Amazon.