Let’s get comfortable and start talking about mental health

As the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. 

And while that not might not be strictly true all the time, we do know that talking about mental health is often the first step towards feeling a bit better. 

Whether you’re offloading on a friend, you’ve gained the courage to speak to a doctor or a helpline operator, or you’re confiding in a colleague, that initial conversation – and having the space and time to check in and keep talking – is a big deal. 

Every February, See Me encourages people across Scotland to take the time to have a conversation about mental health through Time to Talk Day. 

On the day, thousands of conversations take place – through coffee mornings, workplace webinars, school mental health fairs, community sessions and straightforward conversations between friends.

For some, it’s the first time they’ve had the confidence to share how they feel. Others take the opportunity to seek further help. 

I know through my work at See Me since 2021 that talking is one of the most important steps when it comes to breaking down the stigma that still exists around mental health and mental illness – but I’m not sure I really appreciated it until last year. 

I’ve recently returned to work after maternity leave. A ‘year off’ that felt like the hardest work of my life – physically, mentally and emotionally. 

I don’t think I would have got through the first 12 months of looking after a tiny human without my support network, especially the WhatsApp group that became a lifeline. 

Before I had my daughter, I attended local antenatal classes. The organiser invited all 14 expectant mums to join a WhatsApp group, where we nervously introduced ourselves and shared plans for hospital bags and nursery colours between the weekly classes. 

As time went on, we started to delve a bit further – talking about our fears for what lay ahead in the delivery room, worrying about how on earth we were going to look after a baby, and, before long, messages at 3am when our little ones wouldn’t sleep and we started to question if we could do this. 

Research has shown that there’s still a lot of stigma attached to struggling with your mental health for new parents. The pressure to have it all under control and to be a ‘good mum’ – or dad – is massive.

For many, admitting that you’re struggling can feel like you're failing – yourself and your baby. So lots of new parents keep it to themselves. 

Our group chat – and the baby classes we attended, the cafes we drank coffee in and soft plays we clambered through – became a safe space for all of us. A place where we could say, “I’m really struggling,” and, “I miss my old life,” and, “I don’t think I’m very good at this.” 

Where you would get the most supportive responses. “I am too.” “You’re not the only one.” “You’re amazing and we’re here for you.” 

Just knowing you had someone who would listen, who wouldn’t dismiss you and would always be on your side was incredible and really eased the mental impact of adjusting to parenthood, especially on the days where it just felt impossible. 

I know that not everyone is as lucky as me. But Time to Talk Day can be the push that some people need to take that step towards sharing what’s on their mind and seeking help. 

It’s also an important day to ask the question - “How are you?” It could be that your co-worker, your friend, family member or neighbour isn’t feeling brave enough to say, and they need that nudge. 

That’s something we need to consider every day. Like other awareness days and weeks and months, mental health doesn’t take a break the rest of the year. We all need that platform, that safe space, that time to say when we’re struggling and to talk it through. 

Whether it is a middle of the night WhatsApp message, a chat in the park or a DM, let’s get that conversation started – and keep it going.